Good job, Maggie. You painted good pictures with your words. If I could give you some advise it would be, make sure you stay in your tenses(were-was,run-ran, held-hold,etc). After you finish your stories, re-read each word, then change or take out what you feel doesn't belong. You may find yourself doing this(editing) numerous times on one story. But, I believe that is part of the beauty of storytelling.
Ps.I wish my Daughter was as motivated with her writing as you are with yours..