Meike Schrut

Broken dreams (15)

Scene                                                                      WHERE - EXACTLY WHERE - TIME OF DAY

74                                                                   NARRATOR
                                      „Madleine decided to go very exactly before as it had learnt it also from one of the 
                                       friends nearly 15 years ago when she was 30. She hung on the door of the sitting 
                                       room in which she wanted to undertake the attempt with Ralph a sign with the 
                                       label: „Please, by entry hold back very quietly, in RF and Marianne.“

                                                                                INSIDE - SITTING ROOM of RF - MEET
                                       Ralph made it to himself already on the couch comfortable on which before days 
                                       RF had that peculiar experience.

                                       Madleine entered this space, smiled something with restraint, went through in 
                                       thoughts once again every sentence which she had to say him. And he should be 
                                       of course without hypocrisy or salute of which he placed anyway no value.

                                                                       Ralph `s voice off-screen
                                      „How I could overlook only her face when I visited Marianne, it fascinates in 
                                       uncanny manner. If she smiles, it seems as if it was one of those fairies from which  
                                       I read as a child, therefore, about her tears one would have to write: if sunrays 
                                       have dried your face, the last fold will also have disappeared and you are maybe 
                                       the only immortal person. Poetry never was my case. RF pays attention and 
                                       estimates I about everything, but this woman is probably the only one which I 
                                       would be able to love honestly?!“

                                                                       Madleine `s voice off-screen
                                      „I must stop immediately dreaming with open eyes. But I can try quietly to imagine 
                                       as not existing all signs of the time from his face. Unfortunately, I also succeed in 
                                       seeing the young man in him. Still when he was 40 and also still with 46 it 
                                       happened that I called him young. I refused to see growing old him who will never 
                                       be able to be which one loves or only reveres an old man. RF may never get to 
                                       know from my thoughts!“

                                      „And because we are in an actually rather fantastic history which can also never  
                                       become true, did not note Madleine follower: One of the souls brought "40", this 
                                       number of years to the smile which gave now and again to themselves the 
                                       pleasure to make happy people, or what the immortal souls understood just thus 
                                       as a fun. This being breathed on the magician easily, whispered the wish: “It is as 
                                       you it wishes you, but you determine the right opportunity.“

                                       Madleine felt only one very light dizziness about itself come, collected itself fast 
                                       again and taught the man whom, otherwise, nobody might teach.

                                                                             (Eyes turning away)
                                      „Forgive if I cannot still look at you, besides, but it is already more than unusually 
                                       what you expect from me. Maybe it becomes only one attempt, maybe you will 
                                       experience the things once again which you never again wanted to see. Of course  
                                       we can break off any time the whole if to you should seem a little bit funnily. I 
                                       lead back you bit by bit in the past, not in your previous life, in it you do not 
                                       believe. We want to come to an agreement so: They tell me which year you just 
                                       see yourselves and we decide together whether it may go on and on in the past. If 
                                       I see something what I like not at all, I will get you without your approval 
                                       immediately there out and you can imagine what I do not like.“

                                       Ralph saw how she blushed for few moments, she had spoken more and more 
                                       quietly, threw only one side glance on him.
                                       She closed to him the eyes with a black cloth, still darkened the room and began.

                                      „She went forward almost in such a way as she had done it with RF, however, she 
                                       concentrated even more and saw made happy that her method seemed to 
                                       function very well. The trip backward by the years was exhilarated first cheerfully, 
                                       the man spoke almost too much, now and again his voice overturned, so that she 
                                       had to calm him and on and on led back till about 2005 or 2006. From there he 
                                       became quiet, spoke more and more hesitantly, until he was quiet.

                                                                             (beside oneself)
                                      „I had just asked you to say immediately me what has just happened. Which year 
                                       you are now.“

                                       Apparently the man had trouble to recognise the year with the help of some signs, 
                                       he was just directed after that film in which he played the schizophrenic: "Spider": 
                                       2002, 10.1 that year.

                                      „In the calendar I see 10.1. In 2002 and will go further back.“

                                      „You will not do this, I do not admit it if I have counted from 10 to 1 down, you  
                                       will wake calmly and are again in Here and Now.“

                                       She acted as she had planned for it, besides, the first time looked to him in the 
                                       face, after 10 minutes. Yes, all together she had used one hour. Whether it was 
                                       demanded too much or that her overtaxed senses played her one absurd prank: 
                                       the face of the man became younger from moment at moment, the same effect 
                                       like with RF? In 2002, this was the extreme what she could admit and he still 
                                       looked like 40, she hoped imploringly that this nightmare came to an end, she was 
                                       not called magician, had she to give up the job? Since as a mistress about the 
                                       years she did not want herself to and may strike up.

                                       When Ralph stood up, finally, a little bit exhausted and looked around to 
                                       Madleine,  he saw them on an armchair, collapsed in himself. Startled he hurried 
                                       to  her, she tore out from her solidification. To calm them something, he knelt to 
                                       himself even before them, enclosed her shoulders and reached with it only that 
                                       she started to cry unrestrained.

                                                                             (in bewilderment)
                                      „What is to me to you? Now does not say that again something has failed, I have  
                                       dreamt only so weird stuff.“

                                      „And this was more or less the only spot that he lied to them so properly. Since he 
                                       had pursued precisely the events backward which had occurred during all 
                                       occupational years and privately. Of course for him that he discussed the death of 
                                       the father not further. Yes, he wanted to say goodbye at least in thoughts once 
                                       again to the mother properly, Madleine had to have anticipated it, long before the 
                                       event she fetched back him. Thus remained in his thought only that interview in 
                                       which he had put away for several minutes too much place for his feelings, from 
                                       there he was quiet also compared with Madleine. Meekly he had gone by time 
                                       and space, he felt physically and emotionally, how him all that loaded.“

                                                                             (makaberes laughter trying)
                                      „If one can call in such a way if you saw in the mirror, you may call me with 
                                       pleasure a witch, I have neither wanted this nor desired.“

                                       She had trembled in the whole body when he sat down to her feet and she 
                                       touched, because too strong feelings did not want to admit them, however, could 
                                       not defend itself also really against it. His roles had gone over to him either in 
                                       meat and blood, or also he felt something for them. The awful idea, he would play 
                                       something to her, it far pushed from herself.

                                       He stepped to the next mirror, took care of version. He would have thanked a 
                                       makeup artist for this work, but, however, his new face was so real as only one 
                                       face could be.

                                      „I believe this you even. If there is a punishment for undevoutness, it is this. Must I 
                                       spend now the next years with it.?“

                                                                             (is surprised)
                                      „Even if I am not responsible for what do you have with this face for a problem? 
                                       None, I would say, it is the most attractive what can have a man at the age of 40 

                                      „I have hated just this: to hear forever how fantastically I would look. What do 
                                       you probably mean, why I accepted roles in which one did not see my face either 
                                       or saw different? May be right if one says: a man did not have to go nicely, only  
                                       attractive look, to me my face made no difference almost always, I could not 
                                       select  it to me. If this should be a present, this was badly selected.“ 


Toutes les droites appartiennent à son auteur Il a été publié sur par la demande de Meike Schrut.
Publié sur sur 16.11.2009.


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